We always knew in our hearts that we had this unfinished affinity to settle. How our 1 month puppy love went off abruptly during Secondary school. So silly :)

That sweet one month with no quarrels, 186 bus rides, Michael learns to rock's 'That's why(you go away)', our first kiss, most memorable and everlasting paper hearts, morning meetups @ Tea Garden, our touch-nose rule.

I can still remember how you kissed on my unsightly long scar saying that you do not mind.

I often think back on how we had come so far. Can't stop but smiling foolishly by myself to think that you are actually the one to spend the rest of my lives with. Afraid to think that you might be the one to leave this world before me when we are old.

After 8 years, our love story continued from where it stopped. Commiting a 'Yes' to the relationship, comes with a price of waiting, uncertainty. I thought that I am strong enough to persevere through the years, I thought that I can wait as long as I have faith and love. But things are so different from how I imagined. As the days, months, years past.. feelings and love for him grew stronger, and now I want him so badly by my side. I can wait no more. But law & boundaries have their way of doing things that sometimes maybe only prayers could help.

Can someone understand how I feel? We tried so many ways to be together. If only I am not bounded by tuition grant, I think I am already in Msia right now. Then again, the people I have met, the job I have now will be completely different. But in anyways, I always thought that Singapore will be of a better future for us. His and my family being here, also to compare currencies.

Fate made us play hide-and-seek with each otherfor the past and it is still on-going now. Having to travel to and fro Malaysia every weekend is definately tiring and I admit that I do complain and always bring up the old stuffs, like - why you gave up your PR status. Then, there we go again.

When we decided to be together again, we knew these would happen, just never thought that it will be this tough. My emotions are over-whelming now. Cos' I've just got back from KL again. Good-byes are never ending.. Sigh..

This week is exceptionally important to me. It may be a week of anxiety, hope, disappointment, or even, pockeful of happiness! Whether or not he gets the job, it definitely is a deciding factor which contributes to how our future plans will be like.


P/S: Kenny's Bday tomorroww!!

4:03am; raine